Salve!
Greetings everyone! I know, it's been forever. I think. I've lsot track fo time, it's been so long. Thing's have been okay, I guess. About as well or poorly as they've ever been, you understand. I just decided to post becuase I had the oddest question posed to me today.
I was asked by someone how, when I have everything going for me the way I do, with a great family, a ton of friends, no real constricting finincial obligations, lack of total ugliness, and no lack whatsoever of brains, how I could POSSIBLY be so depressed all the time. He was only the third person ever, in my life, to ask me something like this. Ashley and Nicole are the only two others, and they've both known me for years and are really, really close to me, you know? So to hear this coming from someone whom I'm, quite honestly, not NEARLY as close to, was something of a shock. I believe, though, that his words ran something like: "It's kind of depressing for the rest of us to know that someone who has everything going for them could be so sad all the time." Admittedly, a valid point. But I don't know why... O.o; I told him so, of course, but still, it bugs me when I don't have answers, as anyone who knows me personally can attest to.
Anyway, moving on. Recently, I went on a mini-shopping spree and got several new skirts and a few shirts. Usually I don't like shopping too much, but it was totally spur-of-the-moment and I got a lot of stuff that really fits me, you know? I'm not a cutesy person. I'm not a preppy person, I don't flaunt myself, and I don't usually enjoy showing off, drawing attention or anything like that... So to find things in Wal-Mart that I really liked (besides things in the men's jean section) was kind of miraculous. So anyway, I got a few skirts, a few shirts and a sweater.
Moving on to other topics again, I've recently become utterly engrossed (even moreso) in my primetime shows: Criminal Minds, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, NUMB3RS, and even a bit of NCIS. It's been wonderful, having those to look forward to each week. It helps the days go by quicker, you know? I'm dissapointed that NUMB3RS won't be on this Friday... But what can you do? I'm going to see about taping the episodes of CSI, CM, and Numb3rs that I'll be missing on Vacation, becuase I couldn't bear to miss them! *dies*
Speaking of which, Christmas Break is coming up. We are going to... *drumroll, please* FLORIDA! It'll be my first time in the state, nevermind in Disney World, our ultimate destination. I'm really excited, but at the same time kind of scared. I've never been to such a deticated themed park like that, and I'm not entirely used to, nor do I like crowds, characters, or lots of screaming kids... But I imagine it will be worth it. I'll try my best to enjoy it. There are plenty of thrill rides, so I'm told, to keep me occupied. *adreneline junkie at heart* LOL
After Christmas, of course, comes my birthday... My seventeenth birthday. I'm torn between elation and terror. I didn't do anything to celebrate my sixteenth birthday, partly out of spite, partly out of depression, partly out of the fact that I jsut don't like a big fuss being made over me. I hate surprise parties, and I'd hope that everyone knows that, so there's no chance of someone else getting something toether for me... But in any case, my seventeenth. I'm still debating a party this year. I mean, I don't have any real close friends that I'd want to spend a few hours with just having fun, partly becuase everyone I DO know has a totally different idea of fun than I do, partly becuase those who have a similar idea of fun I, quite frankly, get kind of sick of after too long, and partly becuase I'm probably going to want to mope, and people don't like me when I mope.
But I can't help but mope lately, things have been... Not nessicarily hard, but I'm getting mroe and more worried about growing up, getting a job, moving out. I'm probably going to move somewhere away from everything I know. Possibly back to Texas, but near a city, so not too close to Grandma and Grandpa, possibly back to Maryland, possibly somewhere else that I've never been. But I refuse to stay here, there are no oppurtunities to move up in the workplace here, not to mention a distinct lack of jobs outside the medical profession that would earn much money. I don't know. All I know is that it's looming closer, I have no idea what to do about it, and I'm terrified of it. I mean, who isn't? But everyone I know and am firends with has plans, colleges mapped out, carreers, three of my friends are even engaged/promised! And here I am, without a college, carreer idea, or boyfriend to my future. What's a girl to do?
Anyway. It's late, and therefore I must run off and lay in bed until sheer exhaustion pulls me into the blissful land of dreams.
Oyasumi!
I was asked by someone how, when I have everything going for me the way I do, with a great family, a ton of friends, no real constricting finincial obligations, lack of total ugliness, and no lack whatsoever of brains, how I could POSSIBLY be so depressed all the time. He was only the third person ever, in my life, to ask me something like this. Ashley and Nicole are the only two others, and they've both known me for years and are really, really close to me, you know? So to hear this coming from someone whom I'm, quite honestly, not NEARLY as close to, was something of a shock. I believe, though, that his words ran something like: "It's kind of depressing for the rest of us to know that someone who has everything going for them could be so sad all the time." Admittedly, a valid point. But I don't know why... O.o; I told him so, of course, but still, it bugs me when I don't have answers, as anyone who knows me personally can attest to.
Anyway, moving on. Recently, I went on a mini-shopping spree and got several new skirts and a few shirts. Usually I don't like shopping too much, but it was totally spur-of-the-moment and I got a lot of stuff that really fits me, you know? I'm not a cutesy person. I'm not a preppy person, I don't flaunt myself, and I don't usually enjoy showing off, drawing attention or anything like that... So to find things in Wal-Mart that I really liked (besides things in the men's jean section) was kind of miraculous. So anyway, I got a few skirts, a few shirts and a sweater.
Moving on to other topics again, I've recently become utterly engrossed (even moreso) in my primetime shows: Criminal Minds, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, NUMB3RS, and even a bit of NCIS. It's been wonderful, having those to look forward to each week. It helps the days go by quicker, you know? I'm dissapointed that NUMB3RS won't be on this Friday... But what can you do? I'm going to see about taping the episodes of CSI, CM, and Numb3rs that I'll be missing on Vacation, becuase I couldn't bear to miss them! *dies*
Speaking of which, Christmas Break is coming up. We are going to... *drumroll, please* FLORIDA! It'll be my first time in the state, nevermind in Disney World, our ultimate destination. I'm really excited, but at the same time kind of scared. I've never been to such a deticated themed park like that, and I'm not entirely used to, nor do I like crowds, characters, or lots of screaming kids... But I imagine it will be worth it. I'll try my best to enjoy it. There are plenty of thrill rides, so I'm told, to keep me occupied. *adreneline junkie at heart* LOL
After Christmas, of course, comes my birthday... My seventeenth birthday. I'm torn between elation and terror. I didn't do anything to celebrate my sixteenth birthday, partly out of spite, partly out of depression, partly out of the fact that I jsut don't like a big fuss being made over me. I hate surprise parties, and I'd hope that everyone knows that, so there's no chance of someone else getting something toether for me... But in any case, my seventeenth. I'm still debating a party this year. I mean, I don't have any real close friends that I'd want to spend a few hours with just having fun, partly becuase everyone I DO know has a totally different idea of fun than I do, partly becuase those who have a similar idea of fun I, quite frankly, get kind of sick of after too long, and partly becuase I'm probably going to want to mope, and people don't like me when I mope.
But I can't help but mope lately, things have been... Not nessicarily hard, but I'm getting mroe and more worried about growing up, getting a job, moving out. I'm probably going to move somewhere away from everything I know. Possibly back to Texas, but near a city, so not too close to Grandma and Grandpa, possibly back to Maryland, possibly somewhere else that I've never been. But I refuse to stay here, there are no oppurtunities to move up in the workplace here, not to mention a distinct lack of jobs outside the medical profession that would earn much money. I don't know. All I know is that it's looming closer, I have no idea what to do about it, and I'm terrified of it. I mean, who isn't? But everyone I know and am firends with has plans, colleges mapped out, carreers, three of my friends are even engaged/promised! And here I am, without a college, carreer idea, or boyfriend to my future. What's a girl to do?
Anyway. It's late, and therefore I must run off and lay in bed until sheer exhaustion pulls me into the blissful land of dreams.
Oyasumi!
posted by S'Mores Queen at 7:59 PM
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