Homecoming... O.o;

Okay, well, since this school up here is uber-stupid, they have a homecoming for Basketball as well as Football. Now, I understand that there really is jack-squat to do up here, so you kind of have to invent events, but still... Gah!

So anyway, the story goes like this: Buncha people have decided to gang up on my and get me to go to with a guy from school. Well, one groups wants me to go with one guy, and a totally different groups is trying (and failing) to conspire to get me with another guy (whom they don't know except by name). So anyway, I've got this whole conspiracy to get me to homecoming. While I admit it's kind of nice that people want to include me, I still don't know if dances are my thing.

Well, after a long talk with another of my friends, it turns out that I will, in fact, go to homecoming.

No heart attacks, please.

No, really, I don't want to be the cause of some coronary arrest somewhere!

Please?

Ah, crap. Someone get a medic!

*ahem* So anyway. I've got my dress and everything. And I didn't have to spend a single cent on any of it. Except the ticket to the game/dance.

Yes, I'm going to the game, too. Scary, ne? I'm growing a social life!

And even as my social life grows, every story idea i've ever had flies out of my head. I can't write anymore! *dies* I haven't come up with a good story in almost 5 months! Octavia was... okay, for a vingette. Red Circle was more of a vingette, too. I guess that one was okay... But... well, I know for a fact that the peak of my writing career is now over. I mean, I'm not gonna stop trying, but... I jsut don't hav eth epaitence to stick to any of the stuff anymore. And I can't just write PG-13 stuff anymore, but I hate writing R... I was never any good whatsoever at romance, I'm horrible with SIs, way too many OCs (for fanfiction), all that.

So... I'm shutting down my FF.N account for a while. Well, not shutting down, but I'm not even going to look at it for a while, much less post. Maybe, slowly, I'll get better. Look at some other stories elsewhere. Get some more professional feedback, that kind of thing. I'm sick of reviews that say "cute story, i lik it. update now!". 'lik' was intentionally misspelled, as it as been on so many reviews...

Now that I think aobut it, one of my favorite reviews was from this person who called themself "Mary Sue Hunter". They told me what was wrong with it, told me how to improve it, and even though I didn't appreciate it back then, I appreciate it now, you know?

Well anyway. I've gotten as off-topic as possible, so to wrap up, I will explain my picture for this post! ^^ The cute little red-head is Kenshin. He used to be an assassin, but he gave that up after his first wife died. Now he's a rurouni, a sort of wanderer, who has vowed never to kill again, no matter what. Of course, this causes a few problems becuase, as an assassin, he's gained quite a few enemies, you understand, and all of them want to kill him. Lol, so yeah.

I picked one of him under the sakura trees in anticipation of the (still long-off) spring.

Happy new year?

An hour into the new year and already a breakdown.

God, I just want to cry. It won't solve anything, but I MISS my friends! Nothing I can do, but I miss them, and it physically hurts. This is my second New Year in Michigan, and... I don't know. It physically hurts. My gut feels like it's been stabbed, my throat is tight, my chest hurts... My eyes burn and sting and my tears are aggrivating my cracked and chapped lips.

God, I wish I was HOME. I wish this move had never happened, that I was still back, toasting the new year with Jaslynn and Paris, sipping sparkling cider and tossing back caviar, grinning at thier disgusted looks. I miss the Bauers, Aunt Al, I miss Darlene coming to pick them up a bit after midnight, wishing her a happy new year...

I'm going to miss coming back to school, excitedly sharing my winter break with my friends.

Happy New Years to all of you; To Jaslynn and Paris, whom I miss with all my heart; To Ashley and Chanel, who are and will forever be my soul sisters, To Nicole and Catty, whom I will never in a million New Years forget; Gabby, the little sister I always had to protect and teach; and Kierston, the one who will always and forever be my first real, true best friend.

God, I miss you.

In honor of the people who made my life worth living in Maryland, I make this New Years Pledge:

I, Elizabeth Smith, resolve to change to the best of my ability in the year of Two-Thousand-Six, Anno Domini. I resolve to do this by being less isolative and more social. I resolve to no longer passively take the insults and put-downs that come my way, but to defende myself against them and give the insulters no more reason to insult. I'm now promising that I will focuse academically and athletically, toning my mind and body so that I can live healthier, longer, and happier, so that I can be there fore my friends as they've been there fore me. I resolve to tell people when I'm sad or angry, instead of hiding it with the cop-out 'I'm jsut tired'. I resolve to fake it less and be more genuine, to tell people the good things about me, rather than push them away with the bad things. I resolve to try and put th past behind me and live for the future, however hard it may be to see, however rought the road gets I shall not EVER take the 'easy' way out. I won't mope behind a screen name all my life, but celebrate with the people who care about me.

With all my heart, I will try to hold true to these promises in the year 2006. If I should fail, these resolutions will by all means carry to the next year, and on and on until I am living the life I WANT to live.

God, I miss you guys back home... I love you <3

Good night.